Conversations over Dinner

If you could, would you want to know the date of your own death?

If you knew you had only a few months to live, what, if anything, would you do anything differently?

These are the questions behind the Rob Reiner film, The Bucket List, starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson. The bucket list refers to the itemization of things you want to do before you “kick the bucket.”

While some of the circumstances in this movie are a bit outlandish, the story is one most of us have contemplated, and it makes its point beautifully. With Freeman providing thought-provoking questions, and Nicholson the more-than-meets-the-eye character, you just might want to have a tissue handy.

One thing is clear. No matter how close the end, it is never too late to learn something new.

It was a dark and stormy night.

Well, it was!

Last night wasn’t, though. We had a wonderful evening at a local vineyard. In the summertime, they show movies outdoors under the stars. It’s such a great way to spend a warm summer night… snuggled up next to someone you love, sharing a bottle of wine.

Last night’s movie was Waitress and it was very enjoyable. Before heading out, I read that this movie involved a lot of pie. Knowing we would be soon craving a piece of pie, we left the popcorn at home and picked up a pie on the way. To be totally honest, we bought two — blueberry and peach. Good thing, too, because if you like pie, this movie will trigger the desire to have some. It is not an action movie, but Andy Griffith plays an interesting character, and I do recommend it for a nice quiet summer night.

Once again, we’re a little late to jump on the bandwagon. Last night we watched the 1990 movie, “Coupe de Ville” and were pleasantly surprised. It looked like it would be a fun movie, and it was. It also had depth, as it delved into the relationship among three very different brothers, coming together after years apart, on a road trip from Michigan to Florida.

The classic rock will have you singing along, and when the brothers get into an argument about the lyrics to “Louie, Louie,” you will be hard pressed not to laugh.

It’s a great popcorn movie!

We’re a little behind the times, but we recently had the pleasure of watching the 2000 movie, “Chocolat” starring Juliette Binoche and Johnny Depp. The story takes place in 1959 and revolves around a single mother and her young daughter, who move to rural France and open a chocolate shop — during Lent. Conflict with the mayor, interactions with the townspeople, and long-held traditions combine to create a fascinating tale of perseverance and acceptance. And, oh, the chocolate!

In the 60’s and early 70’s, I sported a hippie wanna-be look. In retrospect, the look was a bit clownish. Afterwards, during the 80’s, I wore – in public, mind you — tight leggings with an oversized shirt. Even today I cringe when I view photographs of my hairstyles from the early 90’s. What was I thinking?

Like many women over forty, I carry with me a fair amount of baggage from my past. Much of what constitutes this baggage is far from amusing.

Read article on “Women Over 40 Rock!”

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Friday night we shared dinner with friends at a new Thai restaurant in town. The food was delicious, the staff friendly and the atmosphere lively. Two thumbs up! Friday afternoon there was a wine festival in town. We were supposed to join our friends there for the tasting, then have dinner. My MS was acting up in a big way and we finally decided that using a wheelchair was the only way we could manage. When thunderstorms rolled in, we had a change of plans. I didn’t want wine anyway, since it would only encourage my fatigue. So, Jake went off for a few hours to enjoy the crowds while I rested up. Then he came home and we were off to dinner. It worked out much better that way.

Last night, we decided to stop in at the lodge that Jake just joined. We had simple sandwiches while the crowd enjoyed karaoke. We didn’t stay long, but it was nice.

Today was still wet from the rains of the last two days. Jake tried to do some yard work, but it was just too muddy. I managed to clean a couple of rooms before I had to rest. I made salmon for dinner and it turned out very nicely. I imagine that in a few hours, we’ll find a movie to watch and pop some corn. Sunday night gets me down… work tomorrow…

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

We didn’t have an actual dinner tonight. We were invited to a local club’s party and the food we ate there did the trick. We had a very nice time. The party was held in a simply gorgeous home, with seating outside, as well as inside. Today’s weather couldn’t have been better for such an occasion. It was a great group of people and it looks like we’ve been tagged to join the club. That’s two groups now. Hmmm… doesn’t sound like we’re moving any time soon, does it? Reality dawns.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

I made dinner a little earlier this evening so that Jake would have time to get ready to go to the local lodge, where he will officially become a member tonight. I did not apply for membership, so I can’t attend this ceremony, but we have plans to attend on Friday night. It is all a new and strange experience for us.

So, here I sit, by myself, living my virtual life on the internet. I remember as a child, my siblings and I often spoke about the future — the year 2000 — and all the wonderful inventions we would have at our disposal. Many of the things we dreamed about and expected did not come to pass. We never thought about the internet, though. What a crazy and wonderful thing it is!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Uh oh. Jake, who is scheduled to board a plane tomorrow morning, on a long-planned trip to visit his daughter, threw out his back this morning. This is not looking good, but he is bound and determined to make the trip. It is possible, I suppose, that he could wake up in the morning  none the worse for wear. Not very probable, though.

I’ll make a prediction based on my years of experience with this man:  he will be on that plane.

Tomorrow’s post will tell the tale.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Sunday evening and it’s back to work tomorrow. I always think about that just about dinner time every Sunday.

Dinner tonight was easy to prepare — leftovers from last night, when we had friends over. I made parmesan -encrusted pork chops, courtesy of Giada DeLaurentis. I’ve learned so much from her.

Well, I guess we’ve decided that New England, though a nice dream, isn’t going to be our new home. The financial difficulties they have, plus our health insurance issues, make it an impossible dream. It just doesn’t make any sense. We spent some time today targeting new areas and came upon a difficult realization. Health insurance will dictate where we are able to move. Since many states have no provisions for people who have pre-existing conditions and no access to group coverage, we have limited options.

Sad to say that our personal health care crisis, due to my misfortune of having multiple sclerosis, will prevent us from… many, many things.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Work. It’s something we talk about a lot lately and tonight was no exception. We are moving forward, but in baby steps. Some days we feel absolutely elated and others, not so much. I guess this is a ‘not so much day.’

We had to have the hot water heater replaced this morning and that was a hefty chunk of change, to say the least. I noticed that we both jumped right to, “this will be a good selling point,” so I guess we both still want to get out of here.

If longing for more is a sin, the we are definitely guilty. But as a recent frequent visitor, Diane J. Standiford said, “Friends always tell us how lucky we are because we have each other, 29 years in June, we should be happy enough, we shouldn’t need more; but we always have and always will because our relationship is a sailboat others don’t have, yet what good or fun is that boat if you don’t sail it? Explore new places, feel the cool breezes of lakes and bays and meet new people, make friends. We grow as people in this way and have more to give to each other, including love. Would those people who feel that way about your relationship–would they build a house and not decorate it? Love is meant to be enjoyed, increased and celebrated…life is short. Sail away while the wind is with you.” Diane J Standiford

I’ll take those words to heart. Thanks, Diane.

From In The Trenches Productions, Politics and Sexism: Hold the ‘B’ Word, Please

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Mmmmm…steak! What a good dinner for a Saturday evening at home. Jake and I had such a productive day!

My MS is taking a break for now, and for the first time in a couple of months, I was able to get through some weekend chores without having to rest every twenty minutes. I cleaned the main level of our home without feeling the least bit overwhelmed. You just don’t realize how great that is unless you can’t do it. Jake ran around doing errands and also managed to fix our shower — again.

We had a strange weather day today. We woke to gray skies and drizzle. Later the sun peeked out, but only for awhile. Then came hail. Then pouring rain. Now wind, wind, wind!

Thing 2 finally got in a good exercise day, doing what cats do when it is windy outside. From window to window she ran, chasing the wind. A neighborhood cat who used to taunt her brother in the window stopped by for a visit and she just went wild, trying to jump through the window. I’m pretty sure she gave herself a headache.

There has been a very strange aura surrounding our lives lately. First, we lost our cat, Thing 1, to a sudden health problem. He was young and strong and it was all quite upsetting. Then Thing 2 went into a depression of sorts. Now she seems to be channeling her late brother in many respects. I know it sounds very weird, but she’s taken on many of his quirks.

Then our five-foot palm tree, which we inherited from the previous homeowners four years ago, just dropped completely over one day. Healthy…then dead.

Jake and I have both commented on our unsettled feeling and strange vibes.

Then there was the shower incident. Two showers decide not to work — at all — on the same day. Not a pressure problem. Take off the showerheads and the water comes rushing through. One shower head was only a few months old, the other many years old. One sink on the fritz, too. What’s the odds of three separate plumbing problems in one day? Creepy.

Several days ago, I walked into our office to find Jake’s computer blinking on and off for no particular reason.

Jake’s cell phone rings…but it can’t be answered. Or turned off. It just rings and rings. Then there were the late night calls from his daughter’s phone number. She doesn’t speak, yet the line stays open. He ends the call and calls her back only to find that she never dialed his number.

Today there was an odor in our bedroom. It smelled as though an appliance were overheating, or something just beginning to burn. We investigated every square inch of that room and found nothing. The odor dissipated later in the day.

My dreams of late are very vivid. I seem to be happy and finding what I want. I remember every detail. Odd for me, because I am usually prone to nightmares and elusive negative imagery.

And the strangest thing of all…out of the corner of his eye, Jake saw Thing 1 run past in a blur. Then saw that she was sitting across the room.

Very, very Twilight Zone…

Friday, February 22, 2008

We had dinner out at a local lodge. A very nice man we met at a Christmas party had invited us to attend. Looks like we’ll soon be members. I guess that’s a good thing…time will tell.

Exhaustion dictates that I bid you sweet dreams at this point.

Jake is now part of the team over at MultipleSclerosisCentral.com, sharing his insight and offering support to other caregivers. Read Jake’s introductory post, “The Long and Winding Road” at MultipleSclerosisCentral.com. Please join me in welcoming Jake to the family of MS Bloggers.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Dinner tonight was nice. We spent some time talking about the new look we’ve given our blogs. In addition to this blog, Jake’s Blog and MS Maze have been updated. Between The Blogs is up for reconstruction next.

We also discussed the hectic schedule coming our way. Unfortunately, we’re going to have to pass on some family celebrations. Both of Jake’s parents turn 80 years old this year (different months, naturally). His brother is planning an Easter gathering. Two of his nieces will have high school graduation parties. Daniel will graduate college. For many people, this wouldn’t present much of a problem, but for us, it’s a logistical and financial disaster. Out of town events one and all.

We’re trying to come up with a really great idea for Daniel’s graduation. We want it to be really special. Perhaps along the lines of an investment. If you know any great graduation gifts please drop us a comment.

Naturally, the subject of the cats came up again. It was a week ago today that Thing 1 gave the first indication that something wasn’t quite right. His essence is still strongly felt around the house. Today Thing 2 began showing signs of improvement. She came to life in a big way. She did a little playing, requested a lot of attention and added some much needed vocalization to our quiet home. Atta girl!