Conversations over Dinner

If you had been spying through the kitchen window as we ate dinner tonight, you wouldn’t have seen anything unusual. Just two people eating an ordinary meal. What you wouldn’t have seen is how content we are to be sitting at that ordinary table in our ordinary kitchen.

Multiple sclerosis, not a shy entity, has been plaguing us of late. The past week was a difficult one for both of us, and the appearance of new symptoms reminded me that we can take nothing for granted.

Lord knows, we’ve got our share of problems, but we have each other. We have our quiet life and our peaceful home. As long as we can sit together, sharing dinner at that kitchen table, we’ve got more than most.

It was a wonderful dinner.

Q. What is it like to be married to someone with relapsing/remitting MS?

A. It requires a great deal of advance planning and a certain amount of anxiety.

Jake’s article for The Health Central Network allows just a small peek inside the mind of a spouse/caregiver.

Read: “Scaredy Scouts”

This weekend Mandy and I traveled some hours to visit the home of my mother who is going to celebrate her 80th birthday this week. There was a big family party planned and everyone was looking forward to seeing each other. We were just ready to leave the house when the phone rang. It was my brother. “So, you’ve heard about Mom, right?,” he half-said…

Read Happy Birthday, Mom by Jake

Jake watches me struggle and fall. He stands by my side through doctor visits and medical testing. Every morning, before he wakes me, he opens the refrigerator door and pulls out a syringe. It’s a matter of routine, but its significance doesn’t escape him.

How many changes has he made to accommodate my need for assistance? Do I know even a small fraction of the silent sacrifices he has made on my behalf?

Read “Caring for the Caregiver”

It was a dark and stormy night.

Well, it was!

Last night wasn’t, though. We had a wonderful evening at a local vineyard. In the summertime, they show movies outdoors under the stars. It’s such a great way to spend a warm summer night… snuggled up next to someone you love, sharing a bottle of wine.

Last night’s movie was Waitress and it was very enjoyable. Before heading out, I read that this movie involved a lot of pie. Knowing we would be soon craving a piece of pie, we left the popcorn at home and picked up a pie on the way. To be totally honest, we bought two — blueberry and peach. Good thing, too, because if you like pie, this movie will trigger the desire to have some. It is not an action movie, but Andy Griffith plays an interesting character, and I do recommend it for a nice quiet summer night.

“I think we have a delicious relationship.”

This is what my husband said to me over dinner tonight. I am one very lucky wife.

I like sleeping in the nude
When It’s hot and the moon is full
I like a little ice in my drink
And the sound when it clinks, that’s cool
But when I need maximum sensation
I turn to you
Cause you feel good
Yeah, you feel good

I like a little itch in my neck
When a song won’t let me go
I like a shower beating down
Steam rising all around like smoke
But when I wanna feel a rush that goes a little deeper
I turn to you and you feel good
Baby, you feel good, baby you feel good

I like the velvet of your skin
When I’m holding you in my arms
And I like the way that we connect
The way that you caress my heart
Everytime I need love and understanding
I turn to you…and
You fell good
Yeah, you feel good
Baby, you feel good
Yeah, you feel good
Like I want a shout
I wanna cry
I wanna make you feel exactly what I feel inside
Yeah, you feel good
Baby, you, you make me feel so good

(Tom Shapiro/Bob DiPiero)

This song, sung by Tracy Byrd, was our wedding song. Unconventional, but then again, so was our entire wedding day. I bring this up because I played the CD while doing the dishes tonight. It reminded me of life’s simple pleasures, and the many blessings Jake and I share.

Wow, what a weekend!

Friday evening we went to the lodge where we had dinner with our new “gang.” The jukebox played oldies and we sang and laughed and had a wonderful time.

Saturday, we managed to do an incredible amount of yard work during the perfect spring weather.

Sunday night, our friends invited us over for dinner out on their patio. They had invited another couple and they were easy to get to know and a lot of fun. We played lawn games and 70’s hits. Again the evening ended with laughter and singing.

Today Jake and I went out to breakfast, then grocery shopping. Back at home, Jake settled in for a snooze in front of the TV while I sat outside in the under the maple tree and chatted on the phone with Emily. We’ve been having great heart-to-heart talks lately.

Then we decided to go downtown and stroll for awhile. Then we had a late lunch/early dinner at a Thai restaurant. It was delicious and relaxing. Then we decided, this being Memorial Day, that we would stroll through our local historic cemetery. Since we couldn’t visit with our own dearly departed, we decided to visit others. On the way home, we stopped for an ice cream treat.

These past several days I have been doing well, physically. Headache-free, fatigue-free, and able to manage short walks, I have had little reason to complain. I need to get some test results from the doctor tomorrow afternoon, so I just hope he doesn’t plan on bursting my bubble. As Scarlett O’Hara used to say, “I won’t think about that today. I’ll go crazy if I do! I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

Happy Memorial Day!

In the 60’s and early 70’s, I sported a hippie wanna-be look. In retrospect, the look was a bit clownish. Afterwards, during the 80’s, I wore – in public, mind you — tight leggings with an oversized shirt. Even today I cringe when I view photographs of my hairstyles from the early 90’s. What was I thinking?

Like many women over forty, I carry with me a fair amount of baggage from my past. Much of what constitutes this baggage is far from amusing.

Read article on “Women Over 40 Rock!”

Nice juicy steaks ended a productive Sunday for us. We lingered at the table and talked of work for quite some time. We have our goals, and we have thrown ourselves wholeheartedly into achieving them.

I had a bad week, physically. Besides the MS acting up, it seemed that every other physical problem I’ve ever had decided to stop by for a visit. It verged on brutal. The funny thing is, my head is in a really good place. I feel inspired and enthusiastic about my future opportunities. I am definitely going to transition myself into a work-at-home situation before MS forces the issue. I am going to win on this one, and that is a wonderful feeling.

Busy, busy, busy. Jake has work lined up for days — which is an entirely good thing! As for me, I am working on three projects at once and have pitched two other ideas. Seems like I’m always on pins and needles lately, wondering which darts I throw out there will stick!

I actually drank wine with dinner tonight, for the first time in a very long while. The fact that I am still awake means that my MS fatigue has let up considerably — another good thing!

Jake and I are working hard at achieving our goals, and now that we’ve made some measurable progress, we are more energized than ever. The coming months could be a time of great progress. Hopefully, I will be able to concentrate more fully on all of that after next week’s doctor appointments.

Dinner at our kitchen table was never so wonderful as it was this evening. After several days out-of-town, staying in one of the world’s worst hotel rooms, home is sweet, indeed! I adore eating out, but after a couple of days, I crave the simplicity of the meals we prepare at home, and the healthier feeling that comes with it. The icing on the cake will be popcorn later tonight.

Jake commented that he appreciates that I light candles at dinner each night. It’s always nice know that the little touches are noticed.

Well, as of Saturday, my son is officially a college graduate and, as of today, he is officially a grad student and teacher’s assistant. I am bursting with pride at his accomplishments. He is an extremely focused and bright young man, and he possesses a most important asset — common sense. His life is in a good place.

Tomorrow morning I am off to the hospital for tests, then on to work for a few hours. As far as work goes, my favorite part of the day 2:00 pm, when I finally make it over to my home computer to work on more interesting projects.

We’ve been engrossed in our own travels and health-related problems of late, but we have kept up with the news. The natural disasters and tragedies which surround us lately give one pause. No matter how difficult life seems, it can always get worse. What you do have can be taken away in an instant. Food for thought.

Monday, May 5, 2008

We had a lovely meal tonight, interrupted in the final moments by a business call for Jake. He is not quite himself today. Allergy season has arrived and his head is all stuffed up and he’s been sneezing like mad. He is paying for the yard work he did yesterday. The allergy relief medicine makes him drowsy, so he is just not in full swing.

Our normally quiet existence has gone up a notch lately, and this week we are actually feeling a bit under the gun. Places to go, people to see, trip to prepare for, and work to be done before that trip.

Sometime in the near future, we are going to have to spring for that laptop so that we are not out-of-the-loop when we travel. In fact, that is the long-term goal. To both have careers which can be done anywhere, anytime, as long as computers are handy. This is the dream.

Romantic Marriage

I live with two women. There’s my wife, Mandy, the woman that I first came to know – strong, confident, and independent. Then there’s the other Mandy, the one that makes an appearance now and then, uninvited, and proceeds to toss strong, confident Mandy out the door without so much as a ‘nice t’see ya.’ Continue…

Well, Jake came through. Three blogs down to one. Between the Blogs, Conversations Over Dinner - Mandy’s Version, and Conversations Over Dinner - Jake’s version, have been merged into one. If you have any of these sites bookmarked, they have all been redirected to the same place, but you may want to update your bookmark to ConversationsOverDinner.com. I think we lost a few previous posts in the process, but most posts from all blogs remain intact. MS Maze remains its own entity.

Today was a perfect day. Sunny with a cool breeze and clear, blue skies. I was fully prepared to put shoulder to grindstone, but Jake convinced me to run a few errands with him, which lead to lunch at our new Thai restaurant. He had the right idea. What a lovely afternoon! When we returned home, Jake went out to work in the yard, while I did some light housekeeping. The MS is acting up, but this particular bout is not following the usual pattern.

I feel I have a lot on my plate right now. Some good, some not. There are some haunting medical issues still to be addressed, some changes with my work, and a trip on Thursday. I am thrilled to say that we are flying out to my son’s college graduation ceremony, which will be held on Saturday. He is all signed up for grad school and will be pursuing his masters. I am so happy and proud!