When you have multiple sclerosis, you don’t have it alone.

You may be the one with MS and the physical symptoms that go along with it, but you can’t build a fence around yourself in order to protect those around you. Like it or not, MS spreads its tentacles out and affects the lives of your loved ones.

Besides being a person with MS, you may be a sibling, a spouse, a parent, a friend, a co-worker. You count on others and they count on you.

Depending on how MS has manifested itself in your life, it will touch everyone around you in small ways, and in profoundly significant ways, both emotionally and financially.

Emotionally: We’ve all had to do it at one time or another. Watching a loved one struggle with health is not a pleasant experience. Relationships between husband and wife or parent and child are disrupted — not that it’s an entirely negative thing, but change isn’t always quick and it isn’t always easy. In the case of MS in the family, close relationships may forever be in a state of flux.

A spouse who becomes a caregiver may feel overwhelmed by responsibility and fearful about the future. It’s a perfectly normal response. Open and honest discussion is necessary to avoid the pitfalls of an ever-changing relationship.

A child whose parent has a chronic illness may have trouble expressing the fear and doubt that accompany it. Worry about the parent, as well as concern for their own fate, may not be apparent. Discussion should be initiated by the parent(s) and questions addressed directly and honestly.

Friends and co-workers will have their own questions about changes in your health. Some of them will find the topic uncomfortable and may avoid any mention of it. If your MS is not a factor in their lives — particularly on the job — you owe no explanations. However, if it will impact the relationship, you needn’t wait to be asked a question — it’s okay to broach the subject yourself and say what needs to be said. It is the unspoken question that has the power to come between you.

Financially: MS can be an expensive disease. The issue of health insurance, if you don’t have a good group policy, is a major obstacle for many people with MS. Individual insurance policies with a pre-existing condition are difficult to come by and are very costly.

Aside from the obvious expense of health insurance and out-of-pocket costs associated with medical care, some MS patients find they have to purchase additional items to maintain quality of life. These may include mobility aids and other assistive devices, home renovations, vehicle alterations, etc.

If you can no longer function on the job, the switch from full-time employment to part-time work — or unemployment — can have a dramatic impact on the household. In some cases, family members who take on the role of caregiver, with its associated restrictions, also experience a decline in income.

No one in the family is immune to the emotional and financial impact of a chronic illness. Those of us who have loved ones to lean are the fortunate ones.

Originally published on Care2.com’s Healthy and Green Living

Defense of Marriage Act. Even as a heterosexual married woman, I am offended by the phrase.

The name itself is disrespectful and suggests that homosexual unions cause harm to heterosexual marriage… that people like me have a need to defend our marriages against outside forces — other couples — and I must confess that I just don’t get that.

Respect for Marriage Act. Now that has a much nicer ring to it.

You don’t have to approve of my marriage and I need not approve yours, but we should all have the same rights under the law. It’s been my experience that many heterosexuals feel the same way… we just haven’t been very vocal about it. So comfortable and secure are we in our marital rights that we give little thought to those who only wish for that same comfort and security. Shame on us.

Respect is a two way street.

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/829079

Read this post in its entirety and answer the poll — Do you support the Respect for Marriage Act?: R-E-S-P-E-C-T my marriage

Multiple sclerosis can complicate a marriage, often forcing both individuals to adjust to drastic changes in expectations or marital roles — or it can bring you even closer together. Perhaps it will do both.

Maybe MS was part of the picture prior to the relationship or maybe it was diagnosed later. Either way, it has the potential to dominate every facet of your lives. It’s easy to become a little self-absorbed when living with chronic illness and, for the spouse, it’s normal to resent MS and the impositions it imposes. The trick is not to resent each other.

Whether you are in a traditional marriage or some other long-term committed relationship, it can weather many storms when treated as a true partnership and those storms are faced as a team.

Lack of communication can lead to feelings of isolation. It is truly a blessing when married couples develop a bond and can almost read each other’s thoughts, but when it comes to MS, nothing should be considered obvious.

The MS patient should be up front about symptoms that are interfering with the ability to function. To assume that your partner will instinctively know without being told is a mistake, and so is holding a grudge if they don’t. Even to the well-versed, sometimes the symptoms of MS are hard to detect.

Likewise, the caregiver/spouse must be able to speak freely about the extra responsibilities they face due to MS. Resist the urge to overprotect each other — that can lead to much bigger issues down the road.

Flexibility is a must. You may have the road map all laid out, but there will be detours. If you’ve got relapsing/remitting MS, the road may alternate between smooth pavement and rough terrain, with zero visibility. The willingness to alter plans and work around sudden change will serve you well.

Show your appreciation for the little kindnesses as well as major sacrifices. It’s not difficult to fall into a pattern of dealing with daily living while forgetting the niceties, but everyone appreciates acknowledgment of their efforts. No one likes to be taken for granted.

Nurture the relationship. The patient and caregiver relationship must peacefully co-exist with the husband and wife relationship rather than overpower it.

Romance is good for the soul. Whatever you do, don’t let that slide. It’s not so much the grand gestures, but the simplicity of a whispered, “I love you,” or an unexpected cuddle that will come back to you a thousand times over.

Originally published on Care2.com’s Healthy and Green Living

It’s a mind-boggling statistic, but approximately 13 million children right here in America are at risk of hunger every day.

September is Hunger Action Month. The Child Nutrition Reauthorization Act authorizes all of the federal school meal and child nutrition programs, which provide funding to ensure that low-income children have access to healthy and nutritious foods through the National School Lunch and School Breakfast Programs; Summer Food Service Program; Child and Adult Care Food Program; Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants and Children; and Farmer’s Market Nutrition Program…

Photo: http://www.sxc.hu/photo/799909

Read this post in in its entirety:

America’s Hungry Children at Risk

Two million children under the age of five die each year because they do not have access to clean, safe drinking water. Let that statistic sink in.

It’s easy enough to take safe drinking water for granted when it’s there for the taking, straight from the tap, right in the comfort of our own homes. There’s little reason for us to give it much thought, but that’s exactly what I’m asking you to do today, because an estimated one billion people in developing countries are not so fortunate. Their health and well-being, in fact, their very lives, are endangered every day for lack of something so basic as clean drinking water.

Your signature can safe a life… read the post… sign the pledge:

Money for Your Signature

You never know what’s going to touch a nerve.

I wrote an article for Care2.com’s Living with MS Blog called Handicapped Parking: A Guilt-Free Zone, that apparently hit home with a lot of people. Like me, many people struggle with either the guilt of using a handicapped parking space, or the anger of onlookers who do not understand invisible disabilities.

Some of the commenters brought up an issue I hadn’t considered — obesity. Is obesity caused by… or the cause of… disability, and should obesity accepted as a disability? Hmmm… lots to think about there.

Now I did expect to touch a nerve with last week’s Closed Minds Shout Down Disabled Woman in Wheelchair, and I was not wrong. Most folks are in my camp on this one — we’ve sunk to a new low in the health care debate and basic human decency. If you are not familiar with the story, please take a moment to read the post. This incident is a wake up call to America.

Senator Edward “Ted” M. Kennedy was born into wealth and privilege, but spent his life advocating for the poor and disadvantaged.

He’ll be forever remembered as a champion of civil rights, equality, and bipartisanship. A leader in the fight for health care reform, which he said was the cause of his life, Senator Kennedy made it clear that health care for all was something he dearly wanted to achieve in his lifetime. Sadly, he will not see his dream come to pass.

If a comprehensive health care bill manages to pass during this president’s term, it will be due in no small part to decades of effort on the part of Senator Kennedy, and would serve as a lasting testament to his passion and commitment.

Read this post in its entirety and sign the petition honoring Senator Kennedy: Farewell to Senator Kennedy, Champion of Health Care Reform

Video courtesy of Debbie Zipp of Women Over 40 Rock! and In The Trenches Productions

Death Threats?

When you have multiple sclerosis, you don’t have it alone.

You may be the one with MS and the physical symptoms that go along with it, but you can’t build a fence around yourself in order to protect those around you. Like it or not, MS spreads its tentacles out and affects the lives of your loved ones.

Besides being a person with MS, you may be a sibling, a spouse, a parent, a friend, a co-worker. You count on others and they count on you.

Depending on how MS has manifested itself in your life, it will touch everyone around you in small ways, and in profoundly significant ways, both emotionally and financially.

Read this article in its entirety:  Multiple Sclerosis: It’s a Family Affair

Worried about health care reform and how it will affect you and your family? Stop falling for the hype and learn the facts.

FactCheck.org is a a nonpartisan, nonprofit “consumer advocate” for voters that aims to reduce the level of deception and confusion in U.S. politics. You can learn about FactCheck.org and it’s mission by reading its “about” page.

Get the real story behind those chain emails and partisan television hosts.

From FactCheck.org:
CPR Administers Bad Facts, Again

The group says premiums could nearly double for those who buy their own insurance. Experts we consulted disagree.

The latest ad from the group Conservatives for Patients’ Rights claims that “new rules could hike your health insurance premiums 95 percent.” That’s misleading. The claim in the ad refers to only 5 percent of Americans who have health insurance – those who buy it on their own. The claim comes from an analysis by a group that advocates for …

Surgery for Seniors vs. Abortions?

Family Research Council says abortions will trump care for the elderly in public plan.

A new TV ad sponsored by an anti-abortion group shows a white-haired man fretting that under a federal health plan, “They won’t pay for my surgery, but we’re forced to pay for abortions.”

“Will this be our future?” the ad asks, merging the fears of seniors …

False Euthanasia Claims

The claim that the House health care bill pushes suicide is nonsense.

On former Sen. Fred Thompson’s radio show, former lieutenant governor of New York Betsy McCaughey said that the House’s proposed health care bill contained a provision that would institute mandatory counseling sessions telling seniors how “to do what’s in society’s best interest … and cut your life short.” House Minority Leader John Boehner made a slightly more measured …

Obama’s Health Care News Conference

Facts vs. Obama

President Obama tried to sell his health care overhaul in prime time, mangling some facts in the process. He also strained to make the job sound easier to pay for than experts predict. Obama promised once again that a health care overhaul “will be paid for.” But congressional budget experts say …

Canadian Straw Man

More ads claim that Congress is pushing a Canadian-style health care bill.

Two ads from related independent groups make claims about an overhaul of the health care system, saying Congress wants a government-run health care system. One ad claims that “Washington wants to bring Canadian-style health care to the U.S.” But the health care bills moving through Congress don’t call for a single-payer system like Canada’s …

In addition to writing for Care2.com’s Reform Health Policy blog, I am thrilled to have joined the ranks of the wonderful contributors to Care2’s Healthy and Green Living section, where I will focus on embracing a combination of healthy lifestyle, self-education, and modern medicine for multiple sclerosis patients.

You are invited to visit me and the good folks of Care2, where good conversation is never lacking and your input is always welcome.

Stop by and read my first post on Care2.com’s Healthy and Green Living:

Living with Multiple Sclerosis: 5 Steps Toward Empowerment

She’s looking for a boyfriend with benefits… health care benefits.

Boyfriend with Health Benefits

Simple human dignity and compassion. It’s hard to juxtapose that with end-of-life medical interventions that serve only to prolong pain and suffering, often against the wishes of the patient, while adding thousands of dollars to medical costs for no benefit.

Faced with such suffering and no hope of recovery, would you opt out if you could?

That’s exactly what one Washington woman did recently, becoming the first person to take advantage of the state’s Death with Dignity law. Diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and certain death, she made a conscious, well thought out decision about her own death.

Read this post in its entirety and weigh in on our poll:

Dignity and Compassion in Assisted Suicide

Stroke is the third leading cause of death in the United States and a leading cause of serious long-term disability.

Health care reform is what we want our lawmakers to do, but there are some things we need to do for ourselves, too. Those of us who are not medical professionals can learn some basic facts and promote awareness so that we can help prevent the serious consequences of inaction.

May is National Stroke Awareness Month. A stroke occurs when the blood supply to the brain is cut off, causing brain cells to die. Permanent disability or death can result. When signs of stroke appear, every second counts.

Read this post in its entirety:

National Stroke Awareness Month: Every Second Counts

When one of my kids asks me what I’ve been up to this week, I generally reply “not much.” Yet I seem so busy! So I started making a weekly check-list of my writing and internet-related activities with appropriate the links, which I’m posting on my website at the end of each week.

Suddenly, it doesn’t seem like “not much.” When you throw in all the social networking and replies to emails and posted comments, I’m really feeling quite productive. I love this stuff!

Call me crazy, but I would love to get a few more clients. I finally found what I was meant to do!

AnnPietrangelo.com